What is it really matter when it hurts! Even deeper

So early I was awakened...... laid on bed...... didn't want to get up... I wanna sleep... but still I couldn't fight with my physical condition, I needed to go to washroom... haha... this is how I was defeated. In fact, I've got the time to have morning swim. But I've no mood at all. I needed more silent hour I think. After I've taken my shower, breakfast, listened to bible audios, reading my bible... I needed something from God to strengthen my heart of weakness. I've met something amazing, but is this going to make my life a slave of weeping stream or lightening my life better than ever. The morning time was refreshingly comfortable & peaceful.

I've my expectation, my hope, my dream but I just don't want to keep myself turning into a spinning wheel that will never go to its end. Hard works, patiences, endurances, time, money... we may have paid a lot for them, no one wishes to see all these efforts goes into a vanity at the end like a dust fades away without a trace. However, the fact is only just the fact itself, something that hasn't been occurred yet, please think only the way positively.
Difficulty, lukewarm feelings & stand-offish emotional reactions may even hurt you more and more, but always, what is it really matter when it is absolutely something worthwhile to do and to prove.

Well, I think it's really a moody day, even though my friend invited me to go together to swim tonight, really I've no mood. And the weather was very cold after the rains. I washed my clothes, while I was drying & hanging my clothes at the balcony tonight, I saw a familiar t-shirt which I wore this Monday, it recalled my memory, BITTER & SWEET memory - Wonderful Lunch.

Do I like my song? I will say, "Yes." Because it can be my joy, my story, it's my real self. It comforts my heart, as it flows like a love stream that comfort me so much. Even when I had forgotten it, but God keeps it for my good sake. Sharing it with a precious friend will be a wonderful experience that may delight his/her heart happily. Isn't it?

Keep on the steps to move on, and finally you will see the very good result surprisingly. Cheer Cheer... UP. folk~ smile always.

感嘆中勇於前進

當太陽每早會升起﹐傍晚會有日落﹐
天還顯得光亮的時候﹐都會下起了雨﹐
夜深沉睡的當兒﹐也會聽見窗外的風雨聲﹐
半夜有時會突然惊醒﹐房間里還是暗暗的﹐
偶而眼光光地坐在床上﹐在黑漆漆房間里望墙﹐
禁不住地道出一句﹕“主啊﹗我睡不著。”
到底生活的壓逼源自於外在的衝刺﹐
還是內心對外的對抗起了很大負和的作用﹖
身體要對靈魂說﹐我要休息﹐我要睡覺﹐
可是﹐靈魂還是著急著對人情事故的想念。
步伐趕不上時代的變化﹐呼吸追不上生活的節奏﹐
時間叫寫在每頁的故事都一一地泛黃﹐
我們喜歡未來﹐我們期待美好人生﹐
因為那是一個夢﹐夢想不是現實﹐
我們都很期待美夢成真﹐所以我們勇於去打造﹐
它分秒給我們添加希望的曙光﹐
我們以愛為本﹐為動力﹐繼續壯膽前進。

I Believe

The beginning of the morning... and late in the evening, I was learning about the (三字經)﹐ haha... don't get me wrong, it's not about those people mean about-dirty words. However, this is really the (三字經), "人之初﹐性本善。性相近﹐習相遠。苟不教﹐性乃遷。........." haha... do you think this is the content all about. No, let me tell you, it is a very very long one. haha... I find it very funny to read, and feel good to know about its meaning... but but but... a lot of words I don't understand...... hey, friend, how big is your influence!


Well, I believe that every thing works well at its right time, and it does happen because it's the right time. When it hasn't happened yet, it means that its time has not yet come. There is time to sow, and also a time to reap. Something hasn't come as what we expect may not mean that it will never come on the other coming day. Isn't it? Yes, yes, yes, God~ grant me the courage to move on with the faith that can move the mountain.
Brightness always overcome darkness.
Cheer up! man. No kidding. :-)

Happy +++

" If you have a faith as small as a mustard seed,
Nothing will be Impossible for you. "

(Matthew 17 : 20)


Lack of confidence in what I do? Faith on.
Though there are something that I'm struggling with, However, Thanks God~ I am very happy recently... :-) God bless...

Fatigued

It's another morning that let me down... I was very blurred in my sleep hours... and gradually I could hear the sound coming in from outside...... mosque prayer sounds...... then, it was the raining sound...... awoke myself with a glimpse of the windows that covered by thin drapes...... I could see that it's still very dark out there ...... oh no... I told myself silently I didn't want to be awakened.... gotta fell sleep soon... but the fact was that I was wrong, I laid awoke in the bed.... couldn't sleep..... confusing.... hungry...... zzZZZ.. ???

As a result of that, I woke up a bit early this morning. Seeing that I still got time, with a tired body I went down to swim.... well... when I moved my steps out there, then only I realized that the environment around was wet & cold, rain has just stopped. However, when I put my legs inside the pool, it was amazed, the water was warm... this was what I thought... oh no, it was cold end of the opposite side... haha... well, I guess I still blurred blurred.... normally I swim almost half an hour for around 10-12 round, but this morning I left a bit earlier... I just felt not comfortable with the atmosphere around this morning... However, I thanked God, I felt good, I meant I've got my mind refreshed. :-) And I admitted that it's good to do exercise in the morning. Isn't it?

With a tired body I went to work today... God has brought me through the day. Thanks!
I felt sorry that it was hard for me to believe that I should be happy when I received some friendly SMS texts or email of compliment from my boss. Perhaps I might be happy, but it didn't mean so much to me. Because the company deserve to have my full responsibility of work, they pay me salary, and as for me, I just try my best to do well in my job. But when there's no win-win situation, it's just so embarrassing.

Well, well, well.... just can't wait for any longer... I saw it only 2 left in the bookshelf, and thinking that it was the right time, so I eventually grabbed that "Book" from that bookstore this afternoon. hehe.... Hey!! RM39.90, no discount, but I took it. It is deserved. No more delay... I paid for it, and now... it's mine~ Enjoy Reading!! Enjoy Learning!! take your time, folk! haha...

It was easy to feel hungry this few days, perhaps it was due to the quantity of my dinner I think... eat less... and this is the cost-hungry, but where is my reward? haha... take time.

Guess what?

What is "Guess"? This is not a brand name. But what is it meant by?
Guess, means no answer yet. Seeking is a temporary answer, because the answer has not yet been found. So GUESS is the answer.
However, the answer can be divided into two, it can be either positive or negative.
As a normal human being, usually no one will expect a negative answer. Isn't it?
Because negative answer cultivates sadness & depress.
Everyone shall keep a distance from it. And seek the Positive outcome earnestly.

There was an amazing experience happened to me, well, I think it's about the principle of influence. One thing occurred, and it did influence another thing to happen, it's so amazing, and it's good, it moved my heart so much when I started realized it.

Happy Blessing Holiday

Holiday.
Continuously, I went down to swimming yesterday & today morning. I wanna burn away my fat. haha... I enjoyed so much swimming in the morning I think.

Supposed this was my lunch, but as something was just unpredictable happened, (offered up my favour to a friend, and a friend's sweetheart, I've become a driver, haha, thanks God! We didn't lost our way in & out.) it has become my dinner. Haha... & my lunch was a Korean food. Haha... To be honest, I hadn't finished it. :-( sorry...felt a bit guilty... no appetite? why? so full after coming back from shopping. Well, I think I ate a lot today... sugar-free ice cream, Coffee Jelly w/ cream..... If everyday were like that, then, body shape might have some kind of unexpected symptoms ... haha...

I 'm extremely happy tonight!! It's something that hardly I couldn't express from the bottom of my heart. :-)
May God continue to bless on this matter!

Snowing

Below 0 Degree Celsius ... it's very cold.

Fake News

Eventually it reaches to the end of this month. One uncle will leave this company after today. ... One colleague, and I have had our lunch together with him in a restaurant this afternoon, because I wasn't going to join their(colleagues) farewell tonight... anyway, perhaps I will miss him... though sometimes I didn't like part of his ways in working out certain issues. And at the meantime, there is another colleague based in headquarter will be leaving the company too..... and this is the one that I will miss so much I think, perhaps. haha... O God~ and this, after couple of weeks of waiting & observing,... till I got the SMS tonight only I know that it was a fake news. haha... ...... oh God~ ... however, is it a good news? good? ... ... ... ... I just think that, leaving should be the better choice. Anyway, all the BEST!!

My God, the Most Powerful One.

Day off! Yeah! Thanks God!
Taking rest at home. Swimming in the morning, washing a lot of clothes, bible reading, listening to music, gospel songs, ... ironing clothes... etcs.... too much stuff...... until tonight I still have got some more unread emails left in my inbox, ..... short of time...

It's so glad to hear from a friend this morning, it really has been a very long time I hadn't chatted with her, couple of months ago she had just invited me to a special meeting of testimony held in one of the church in the city, and now only I know that she has further her studies in the University at my hometown. ...It's Great! All the Best!!

Yeah! I've had my hair cut this evening, new look, but it's still just a real me here, I'm unique. Refreshingly I feel myself relax a bit. And young. haha...

A friend asked about something to me tonight, thanks for the concerns, I know it could be a very tough time too, however, miraculously God can do marvelous thing, if I focus only on its major obstacles, then, it could put me down deeply and depressingly. I thank God that He doesn't make this happen, I do have learned to overcome this, patient, endurance ...... are not waste of time, but to declare the glory of God.

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. - 1 John 4:4 (NKJV)

Fear not, How great is my God!

Tomorrow is a Better Day

God~... I think I almost encountered the same problem very often, particularly the night of every Saturday, I was awakened 2-3 hour earlier before my alarm is sounding. Damned it!! Then, I was unable or so hard to fall sleep again. *.* Perhaps, I need to pray to God about this.

We observed the Lord's Supper this morning. Remember Him!! ... What does it remind me? O Lord, renew my soul please when the distance seems so far apart. A lot of stuff attempt to cover me up, they want to slaughter my will, my faith... O Lord, merciful God, keep me away from this, free me from it. Your mercy is great, Your love is endless, ... Oh Powerful God, help me... protect me. When it seems no way out, please stretch out Your mighty hand, because You'll make a way. Tomorrow is a better day. Isn't it?

Pastor John preached the 2nd part of Moses' excuses this morning. It's about sending & obedience. If God asks you to do something, will you reject? Why do you reject? or try to run away from His calling, ignore Him... we may need to learn what is surrender meant about? ... However, what if we don't obey Him? ... what's the consequence? Pastor John will preach on the next service on this topic.

After work, as normal, I went down to swim in this evening...... well, I just think that if I'd like to keep a better shape of my body, get rid of the redundant fat...... perhaps this isn't the ideal way. so what's the next?

It's so glad to hear that there will be a mission trip to Sichuan for a group of B.S. May God greatly bless them, and keep their body & soul walk on the highest place, grant them the wisdom to preach of His name & build up His house firmly. Amen. Thanks God!

Tired... better do exercise.

Busy... late in the night & early in the morning, SMS were also delivered to me by the management of the company. Can't you give me a break? ...

After work, reached home, then, I went down to swim... I wanted to exercise more for the sake of my body shape which is gradually changing...haha... 11 round. Yeah! Refreshing my mind.

I somehow try to reduce the size of my dinner, eat less rice... but the meals are still needed to make some different. Less.. less...

Have a very good conversation with a very good friend of mine in the msn tonight... I was advised to think very clearly about something..... I think that perhaps she is right! Thanks a lot for the opinions, May God bless!

Keep a Smiling Face

It has been so busy for this 2 days... my works overloaded... ... by the way, I thanked God that I was capable of doing it... but tired...

Too much spending recently... I really need to tie up my budget. Coz I want 1 of my plans comes true. If I'm able to get another high pay job very soon, then, it shall be fantastic. Isn't it? No worries, pray to God! He will make a way. Because "man proposes, but God disposes." I still remember this . Thanks God.

I guess I am very happy this early morning & night... haha... something happens. Guess what? I don't wanna tell here. :-)

Family Holiday

Before check-in. (19/09/2008)

After checkout. (20/09/2008)

One Hour Vegetarian

A lot of people come and go, the office was in a desolated situation... but who cares, for the company, it really doesn't matter at all. For those who leave, all the best! Anyway, the busyness of work doesn't seem to have any decrease.

Lunched with a friend this afternoon, wow... a business lady, she really looked like that...haha... big change...... long time no see... but she said, I didn't have any big change. Anyway, didn't know why... I just didn't like to hear about this... really... because it was just like I didn't get any improvement of myself... it reflected a negative review... but anyway... the fact may somehow not like that, it can be just kinda perception which has firstly come up from my mind... it's fine. Thanks God! We've a good time there. I've become a vegetarian for almost an hour. haha....

I Will Rise

I Will Rise - by Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[ Chorus: ]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[ Chorus: ]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of
many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of
every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb" [ x2 ]

[ Chorus: ]
And I will rise when
He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees And rise
I will rise

-------------------------------------------

This is a wonderful song, ... how wonderful... I like the intro... I like the background music of the violin, I like the melody... I like the lyrics..... Worthy is the Lord.... I will rise... will you rise for God?...

Airfare

Wow... so early in the morning just almost half an hour before I went out to work I've got 3 missed calls displayed on screen when I turned on my mobile phone. The number looked familiar to me... but I didn't know who... ... anyway... I found another missed call at my lunch hour... Gosh... now I know... no wonder she said she had called me so many times, and I didn't answer it. However, 1 missed call, come on, 1 missed call, I still wondered, because 1 missed call how come she said she had called many times this morning...... I apologised. But it only made me clear, and realized that it was her who made the calls till the sky almost turned into darkness. ...... Okay, fine, at least we got the right flight booking information, and were sure about its policy.

A bit late tonight, and finally I've booked a ticket for my flight, it's just a one way ticket, I need to make a purchase for a return ticket later. Spending, spending... it's about money talks. haha... My friend told me last night that I should get my ticket early, because its price will gradually increase from time to time, furthermore, that are the peak season as well... Ya, I agreed with her, she's right! ...... sometimes, it's just because something may keep us from doing that, and then, we may know that we're not smart enough to deal w/ this thing. And this could be the contradiction of man. But there might be some other reason(s).

Friendship is so precious!

Day off!
Taking rest at home.
Swimming in the morning. Do cleaning & tidy up works.
Too much things to go through... I was in a sudden blur of my mind, what's it? boring... oh~ no, God! What made it like that? emptiness, struggling & challenges of life, perhaps?

Before sunset, I started again to learn to do pilate, I must keep a healthy body & mind. As for me, I expect I myself is physically & spiritually healthy. Yeah!
Must learn to take care of my food & drink more specifically every single day.

Well, well, well, it was so glad to chat w/ a friend tonight... I thought she has forgotten me already since I didn't get any reply from her in msn couple weeks ago. Previously in the time of our college life, we were in the same group, ... we fought hardly & diligently for our final project, we took up 8 months to complete that project. Well, I think we went thru a lot... sweet bitter..... Our group was formed by 3 members. I asked her where is the other one, and she also asked me the same question, we don't know where the other member is now? We all had already been lost contact after college studies. And now it is so glad to re-correspond back, it is unbelievable that we all have left our hometown, & now is engaging our career in this big city too. Friendship is so precious!

Harvest Of The Field

Harvest Of The Field
Words by Barbara Tipper. Music by Ng Wah Lok
WINNER OF AUSTRALIAN SONGWRITING AWARD 2004 FOR BEST HYMN.

Chorus
Harvest of the field
Your flesh for me did yield
Red fruit of the vine was spilled,
To make salvation mine
Harvest of the field
Your flesh for me did yield
Red fruit of the vine,
Your blood, made salvation mine

Verse 1
A grain of wheat was dropped on the earth
Was buried, sprouted and gave birth
A great harvest, the yield was threshed
Reminds me of Your beaten flesh.
The grains were rolled and crushed and so
The flour was moulded into dough,
Given the yeast, the bread was raised.
Reminds me how you conquered the grave

Verse 2
A tiny seed, became a vine
Which gave plump fruit in its right time.
But the fruit was trampled, bruised and tossed.
Reminds me of your rugged cross.
So the juice is placed, where Your people dine.
We break the bread and we sip the wine.
The cup overflows with a wine-stained flood.
Reminds me of Your precious blood.

Bridge
I’m sorry Lord, you had to die for me
Bore all my grief upon that tree
Forgive my sins and set me free

Look at the field

I couldn't sleep well last night...... damn it, mosquito. Thanks God! I managed to attend the church service this morning. It's not only a habit, but the bible said, Christian shouldn't stop attending church service. ......

We've special item this morning, Sis. Barbara Tipper sang two hymns on stage... to God be the Glory. I like the first hymn she sang, "Harvest of The Field"(WINNER OF AUSTRALIAN SONGWRITING AWARD 2004 FOR BEST HYMN. ), it is a very soft, warm, & beautiful hymn. ...... After that, a special guest, Rev. Alvin Rutherford shared God's word with us, and the topic was apparently associated to the hymn, the scriptures he shared with us were taken from Luke Chapter 19, talked about the story of Zaccheus. ... We were encouraged to share the good news with other within the week... May God bless His works... O God, please "touch" Your Churches when they heard of Your words with apathy.

The weather turned cold after raining the whole afternoon, but, I still went down to the pool to swim, 10 round, thanks God~